Confessions. Secrects. Thoughts. Rants. Embarrassments. Hang ups. Put downs.

One time I masterbated with my mom's screwdriver. It has a pink handle and says "Lady's Helper" on it, so I figured, why not? It was pretty funny and it felt really good, too. I cleaned it off and put it back in the case with the rest of the "lady's Helper" tools. I will use the hammer next.

-::-

I work in a grocery store in the produce section. Everybody is always talking about how great Garlick is for you, so one day I took a big bite right out of a garlick bulb. It was so gross that I threw up all over some cantaloupes. Never try it. I washed the cantoloupes off with a hose and put them out anyway, Hahaha!

-::-

I pay prostitutes for anal sex even though I am engaged to be married. My fiancé knows nothing. Don't tell, shh!

-::-

I put depressing song lyrics in my AIM profile because I want people to read them and ask me about them/if I'm ok. They never do though, especially not her.

-::-

I killed my hedgehog by leavint the window open in January. I didn't mean it Dimsdale! I'm a murderer. I loved my hedgehog.

-::-

I pretend to love football in order to fit in. I watch the superbowl every year, but I take a piss during the game and watch the commercials. I have no idea what a play action fake is, and I don't know what man defense is either. I can only name 2 players on the Colts and they are "my favorite team"

-::-

I am pregnant and my boyfriend wants me t oget an abortion. I know it's just cause he doesn't wantto pay child support. I will have it anyway, it will be my baby.

-::-

I went to a pet store and put on a whole big show about buying a puppy just so I could hold it. There's no way in hell I was going to fork over the hundreds of dollars for it. I wasted all their time when other customers probably actually wanted to buy an animal. He was a nice puppy though.

-::-

I convinced my girlfriend that she gave me herpes when in fact I gave it to her.

-::-

I want to screw my professor's brains out. He is not even that handsome, but I think his awful jokes about history are cute. Even though he is older than me, he seems innocent to me. I just want to stay after class one day and rip my shirt off in front of him. Maybe one day I'll do it. He is in his 50s and has kids.

-::-

TELL ME MORE